Can You See Me?: A powerful story of autism, empathy and kindness

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LIBBY: Whenever you are going through stressful times, don’t bottle it up but tell those who are close to you. You’ll be surprised how much it honestly does help.

Tally is eleven years old and she's just like her friends. Well, sometimes she is. If she tries really hard to be. Because there's something that makes Tally not the same as her friends. Something she can't cover up, no matter how hard she tries: Tally is autistic. Tally knows she’s different: she’s autistic, meaning she sees and feels everything differently to her friends and family. Now, as she enters this new stage in her life, she is painfully aware of the way she is perceived and feeling an almost unbearable pressure to try to fit in. But what exactly are the rules for being “normal”? Ways to be Me’ is recommended to all year groups within Key Stage Two, as themes of empathy and gradual transformation dominate this novel. Both themes are mirrored through her friendship with Miles, whose ASD varies. Their interactions aid ongoing understanding of Tally’s diagnosis and thus steadily becoming comfortable within herself. Other themes of socialisation and fitting in with her peers absolutely apply to all Key Stage Two children. Nevertheless, this novel reinforces that not all children handle situations similarly.A deftly told story that dramatizes how Danes appointed themselves bodyguards—not only for their king, who was in the habit of riding alone in Copenhagen, but for their Jews. Tally’s story is somewhat inspired by your own! How did you use your personal experiences with autism to give Tally’s diary entries an authentic voice? The book's descriptions of her feelings, and her explanations for things that don't make sense to other people, are near-perfect. I can relate so much to feeling that constant sense of rage and explosion, and being so frustrated with people who thought that I was choosing my bad behavior, wanted to be miserable all the time, and enjoyed making life a living hell for me and everyone else in my family. Tally clearly explains to the reader the state that she gets in, showing that she is not acting out for selfish reasons, but is suffering tremendously and cannot contain herself. Tally is eleven years old and she’s just like her friends. Well, sometimes she is. If she tries really hard to be. Because there’s something that makes Tally not the same as her friends. Something she can’t cover up, no matter how hard she tries: Tally is autistic. But at home, things aren't going so well. Mum and Dad have been making Tally feel pressured and upset, and Tally wishes things didn't bother her so much - but they do, and sometimes she feels so misunderstood and frustrated, she could explode.

When Libby’s mum shared a short piece of Libby’s writing online it soon went viral, with tens of thousands of people saying that Libby’s writing helped them understand autism for the first timeThis glimpse into the world of a young autistic girl is astonishingly insightful and honest. Tally's struggles to 'fit in' are heart-wrenching, and her victories are glorious." -- Ann M. Martin, Newbery Honor and New York Times bestselling author of Rain Reign For me, the narrator's voice is way too self aware, reflective, experienced, emotionally articulate, for an 11 year old, never mind an 11 year old with autism. I can only speak from my own experience, and I am not making any commentary about autism itself, but I think there is a risk to reading a book like this and assuming that just because someone presents with a certain emotional, physical, or mental symptom means that it is part of their identity. Tally talks about how offensive it is when people talk about wanting to "cure" autism, and I completely understand why autism itself is part of her identity, but some of her behavioral, psychic, and sensitivity issues could at least hypothetically be eased. Based on my life experience, I have a hard time with the message that someone has to accept everything about their condition as inevitable and unchanging.

The reader is supposed to believe that the main character, Tally, is a mainstreamed student at a public middle school, but the way her behavior is portrayed, there is no way she would be mainstreamed, and particularly without an IEP and all her teachers knowing what her needs were, which is not the case in this story. At home, Tally daily has melt-downs in which she screams at her parents and her sister, tells them she hates them, and that her behavior is all their fault, and that she can't help it. At school, however, she repeatedly comments that she feels like having a melt-down, but she just can't, because she doesn't want her friends to see. So apparently, she does have some control over her behavior, which makes her look like a spoiled brat. I had never, ever read descriptions like this before that I didn't write myself. It meant so much to me to read about this from another person's perspective, and to see Tally's stress about trying to behave and keep self-control, but getting to points where she literally cannot restrain the explosive behavior that takes over. It was so accurate, and even though Tally's triggers were different than mine, I cannot even imagine what an overwhelming comfort it would have been if I could have read something like this when I was twelve. However, on the negative side, it bothered me that her mother was so dismissive of Tally's explosions, seeing them as something that the family had to endure. Again, I'm not autistic, and I know that my experience is different, but the message of "this is just who Tally is," as accepting as it seems, can be a cop out from finding solutions to someone's misery. In my experience, discovering food and chemical sensitivities and changing my exposures changed my life, and I would hate for parents or children who are dealing with behavior issues like mine to read this and think that it's a static, unchanging issue that can't be mitigated or resolved.Written in collaboration with young blogger Libby, who is herself autistic, this is a powerful and highly relatable story about fitting in and being yourself. Tally's diary entries give an authentic insight into one girl's perspective of being autistic, and smashing a host of common assumptions and stereotypes about autism as we see Tally’s potent sense of humour and her deep empathy. Most powerful of all is Tally’s ultimate realisation that autism is not something that needs to be hidden.

Tally's autism means there are things that bother her even though she wishes they didn't. It means that some people misunderstand , her and feel frustrated by her. There is no major twists or turns I'll say, but it is a sad and uplifting story altogether. Tally endures rough times and finds her autism hard .

Customer reviews

Imagine, every day having a ball of anxiety and fear knotted inside you. Now try learning algebra with all that going on." Taking place before Can You See Me? and Do You Know Me? this standout prequel follows Tally through her autism diagnosis in her final year of primary school.